Ask KJ anything (but youth sports questions are preferred)
Real questions from parents, athletes and coaches...
I love working with kids and parents to find their best selves. 💪🙌
Dear KJ,
Q: What are your thoughts on reclassifying? My daughter is a young 7th grade basketball player. If she was born 2 weeks later, she would be in 6th grade. Many people hold back summer birthday kids in Pre-K. We did not do that, but now some friends and acquaintances have said that we should consider having her repeat a grade in order to be more competitive from a size perspective. She is tall - 5’7”, but only weighs 100 lbs. She does not need to be “held back” academically, so it would be strictly for athletics. If it matters, her school ends in 8th grade. So, she could complete 8th grade at her current school and then repeat it at the school we choose for her for high school.
A: When it comes to the decision to reclassify it, I advise looking at it holistically i.e., it’s not just about sports. It’s about social, emotional and physical development of the child. There are three categories that should be part of your family's consideration: academic life, social life, and athletic life. If a child is struggling academically, it can affect their confidence socially as well. Kids are at school from 8-3 five days a week, this is the place where they are receiving the most amount of reinforcement, and if the reinforcement they are consistently receiving is “not good enough” it can have long lasting effects throughout life.
Secondly, is the social life of a child. A person’s ability to interact and work with others is a critical developmental life skill. As a parent, think about how far you would have made it had you not had the capability to work with peers, socialize with others, and have confidence in yourself within those situations. Removing your child from an environment in which they are thriving socially could limit them down the road. This is where their voice must be heard the most, asking questions like,
“Who is your best friend in class”
“Would you be okay to not spend everyday with Lauren?”
“What do you do at recess and lunch?”
At the end of the day, these are kids, not professional athletes and the most important thing in kids' lives are their friends. It is who they will make lifelong memories, have fun with, and are the people who make their life happier.
The last consideration should be the sports. If it is the right decision for them academically and socially then it is time to consider whether or not it is the right choice athletically. Children grow at very different rates. Some kids are 5’11 in the 6th grade and some kids are 5’5 till the 11th grade and then grow to be 6’2. Reclassifying could allow your child to grow and develop as an athlete which could help them achieve their athletic goals.
Both of my sons reclassified after high school and did a post-grad (PG) year because they wanted to play basketball in college. They are both thrilled with their choice to do that and felt it was worth the “sacrifice” that while all of their friends headed off to start their freshmen year of college, they we’re still essentially in high school. BUT- it gave them an opportunity to live away from home for the first time, while pursuing lifelong dreams they each had.
It can help them develop physically as well as technically. It gives kids another opportunity to meet new people and have a new challenge as a person. The decision to reclassify is a large one and every situation is unique. The important thing to remember is that the child is being listened to and every aspect of the change is being considered!
One piece of advice I try to follow myself: Ask twice as many questions of your kid to figure out what they want, rather than give your point of view or experience.
I often get calls from parents asking about how to decide if it’s worth doing a PG year?If you’re not familiar with what a PG year entails, check out an article I wrote last year about the process.
Hope that is helpful!
Let’s do this!
XXX Kir
P.S. You’re amazing. We should talk!
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Here’s a podcast that I did with Prep Athletics that you might find helpful!
This piece worth it alone for this stellar thought:
“At the end of the day, these are kids, not professional athletes and the most important thing in kids' lives are their friends. It is who they will make lifelong memories, have fun with, and are the people who make their life happier.”
Thanks, KJ., for giving us what’s done missing in the youth sports culture: perspective.