How TikTok Changed Her Game
What are you telling yourself about what's possible?
If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids gave me a “news update”, “hot new trend” or a “dance tip” that they were sure I just needed to know, I’d be a gazillionaire. Inevitably, when I ask who they are quoting, they almost always proudly let me know it’s from the most reliable of authorities - ever… TikTok. 🙄
Yes, there are fun and funny things that come from social media and those of us who partake can probably all attest to hours wasted in the proverbial rabbit hole. But more and more, I have clients reaching out based on, at the very least, a correlation to the effects social media is having on the teenage brain. I work with young clients who come to me expressing overwhelm, frustration and often times flat out fear.
Parents feel helpless in how to support their kid and its heart wrenching to see them suffer. Revelations about what they are going through often sounds something like, “I used to love ________(fill in your sport). But lately I’ve been dreading it. As in, I walk into the gym and my heart is in the pit of my stomach. I don’t want to be there. I just want to go home. It’s started fairly recently. I just don’t know why and even worse, I don’t know how to fix it.”
In the last few months, much has been written and laws are now being passed about banning smartphones at school. Los Angeles county, Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) has voted to implement a ban starting in January 2025. And while teachers are mostly cheering to potentially gain control of their classrooms back, parents and students are nervous about how this will be implemented and if it’s possible to shove the genie back into the proverbial bottle. Aside from the obvious distraction in the classroom, which makes it hard to focus and therefore to retain information, there is also the physical side of what it’s doing for our kids’ health.
We also know that the combination of COVID, which caused a pause in face-to-face activities, it also triggered a huge physical shift in our kids social and athletic interactions as well, which led to over 70% of kids dropping out of sports all together by age 13.
So yes, there is a LOT of bad news about smart phones and what they are doing to our kids physical and mental health, which I wholeheartedly agree with. And yes, we need to continue to fight to regulate how algorithms work so that our kids can be safe online. But in addition to the bad news, I would like to share a little ray of sunshine (that’s kinda my thing) on this topic and how I also see opportunities for it being used for good.
This week on a call with one of my most energetic and enthusiastic ⚽️clients, 15-year-old, Kaida, I was thrilled to see and hear in real time, about the potential positive upside of social media and how she’s using it to get what she wants, in our sessions we have dubbed her future self: Kaida 2.0. What if you could have EXACTLY what you wanted? It’s possible. And it’s simple but it isn’t easy. It will take work.
Kaida is a twin. Her sister made the A team last year and Kaida was dual-rostered. She was frustrated by the lack of control she felt not getting to prove herself in playing up. What she did to help solve this problem was awesome. Let me share some wins that got her out of “this isn’t fair” and “why not me?” and into “they better be ready for me! Kaida 2.0 is here!”
She started watching pro players TikTok dribbling videos to see what exercises they do.
Then she not only DID the drills (albeit, much to her chagrin at the time, not very effectively) she took that extra step
Here’s the secret sauce: She recorded herself doing the exercises! These two videos below are both from last year- one month apart. You can see the confidence within a span of just a few short weeks
Then, she did something she’s never done before and joined the track team last spring. She said coaches told her she needed more stamina and speed, so she focused on that by practicing with the track team. Her goal wasn’t to win the events, it was to do HER best and improve her times.
Finally, she went back and looked at her progress from the span of 12 months and in our call this week she couldn’t believe how much better she’s gotten.
We were speaking the week of try-outs. She is still dual-rostered. She has ZERO control over whether the coaches will play her on the A or B team. But she has 100% control over HOW she shows up. NOW she knows she’s done the work (and has the receipts 🎫 to prove it!) and she’s ready to take on whatever challenge is in front of her this season.
Kaida promised to share a video of her doing the drill now in the coming week. I’ll share it with you all soon and you can see for yourself how much she’s grown!! Great work, Kaida! She has a wonderful positive talk track going on every time we speak. THIS is her superpower. 🦸♂️🦸♀️We don’t have control of the outcomes but we 100% of the time have control how we respond.
So, if you have an athlete who’s suffering, who’s been cut and then cut and then denied a third or fourth time. Remember to help them focus on what they CAN control. I LOVE working with parents and athletes and tackling these challenges head on. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Finally, I love this interview and have been sharing it with all who are facing headwinds. NEVER give up
Keep going, keep growing-
K
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