My client “Sam” arrived to our appointment frustrated, “I’ve been working SO hard. I’m doing all of the right things, I trained all summer with the team, but because I transferred schools, the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) is making me sit out the first five games of the season. It’s fine when I’m at practice, I love my sport, but when I’m away from it, I find myself obsessing over the perceived unfairness of it (another kid recently transferred and got to play immediately).”
We spent some time together unpacking how he got here. The well thought out decision making process he went through with his parents which led to the transfer decision; playing for a better (nationally ranked) team, would mean greater exposure to college coaches and an opportunity to potentially play in college. Being surrounded by top talent and playing on a bigger stage can also mean you have higher ranked schools coming to recruit you (and, in fact, they already are).
This is just one example of what I like to call a “head wind”. Others might look like an injury where you’re sidelined for weeks or months. Or it could be you’re a younger player who needs to “wait their turn” to move up the roster. Some times head winds are real and there is nothing you can do about it, other times they are a story we’re telling ourselves about the perceived injustice we’re facing at the moment.
Sometimes an outside perspective is needed to help us realize, “Hey, I’m doing just fine. I got this!”
Which is what my client said to his mom after our appointment. She emailed an update that night,
“Thank you so much, Kirsten! He really enjoyed talking to you and listening to your suggestions! He seemed a lot less stressed and happier after seeing you!”
I feel so fortunate that in my work I get to connect with parents and athletes and help them unpack what’s going on in their minds, so they can align future action with trust in the process.
Sometimes I wish there was an EASY button somewhere my clients could push that would remove all stress, eliminate self-doubt, or at least allow them to skip steps 1-25 and just “get to the good stuff”. But that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? We each need to take the steps for ourselves to learn the lessons (and it sometimes requires repeating multiple steps until the learning sinks in).
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I recall back in 2012 when I decided I was going to pursue building my own business while “mom'ing”. I figured it would take a couple years to get “up and running” and then a few more to really hit my stride. Thirteen plus years later I've experienced a TON of growth but it definitely hasn’t been linear. Life doesn’t work that way.
I was reflecting over the long holiday weekend that I’ve been an athlete for 50+ years, a parent for 25years, a speaker for the last 30 years (if you include my tenure at NIKE), and a sports and mental coach for 20 years. Spanning all of this, there is a through line… connection and collaboration. I love helping others and finding the power of our collective strengths.
One other tally, all of the 50+ schools, companies, clubs and organizations over the last ten plus years I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with. Some for one time engagements and others for more long term, on-going contracts.
It shows the beauty of what can start as just a little idea to write blogs and speak to teams turned into a podcast, eventually a book and a larger reach spanning years, states and growth over time. The compounding of the experiences grows best when it’s watered, nurtured, and given time and space to grow.
I’m sure my client, Sam, will benefit from these learnings over time as well. While one moment he was frustrated and feeling dejected, he breathed through it, and then we clarified some goals, next steps and a plan was hatched. I can’t wait to see how his season unfolds.
There are no skipping steps. The tough moments make the rich ones that much more delicious.
If I can be of help to your team, school, organization or child, I’m here for it.
Grateful for the journey and for your support.
We’ve got this-
Xxx
K