Stressed? Who's stressed?

Ok, I am too. Fires, plane safety, the Middle East, the future of our country, not to mentioned what's going on in our own communities.

Man, is 2025 off to a heck of a start or what? There is so much going on around the world that is causing us to feel completely out of alignment and even downright stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. If you haven’t been feeling it, congrats you are a Jedi master. For the rest of us mere mortals, it’s a lot.

I live in Los Angeles and have so many friends who have been impacted by fires. It is just beyond belief that everything and I mean everything (save a couple dozen buildings and homes still standing) is gone in two very beautiful and treasured neighborhoods. It’s so heartbreaking to see the devastation and feel the pain so many of my friends are going through.

There is also so much unrest at the national and international level. And let’s not forget what’s going on in your immediate neighborhoods and cities. Your kids, their schooling and oh, right… sports. More stress! I met last weekend with Sunshine Volleyball Club’s 13 Westside team. Several girls are dealing with losing their schools and their homes. Ugh, that’s a lot to handle on top of trying to be a great student, teammate, be coachable and perform your best.

Whatever it is you are dealing with, I love having tools to help navigate these rough waters. I recently found Ethan Kross’s book, Shift, to be a good level set for me as I aspire to stay grounded for my family, friends, clients and most of all, me. It starts with yourself, if you’re feeling wobbly, it’s tough to be there for anyone else. I was inspired to know that Ethan’s research backs up many of the tools I use to help myself and clients shift, especially when the world feels fraught with uncertainty.

Here are some tips to help you re-set, decompress and take back control of your emotions.

1. Check in with your senses (hear, smell, touch, taste, feel): Nature is really helpful. Even getting out in nature for 15-20 minutes a day has proven to reduce stress and increase levels of calm. Often times, my morning walk with our lab, I completely “unplug” and challenge myself to use all of my senses as I walk around our neighborhood. Noticing the neighbors beautiful roses for the first time or listening to the squirrels chase one another around a tree helps me get away from my own thoughts and be present. Be. Here. Now. Sometimes its the not thinking that we need.

2. Who’s your “ride or die”? When you have head wind (or a crazy success) who is the first person you want to tell? Sometimes just picking up the phone and hearing their voice can be the calm in the storm you need. I have a grade school classmate who I had mostly lost touch with until three or four years ago we reconnected. The other day we were texting and Jodi shared with me, “Kir, you were one of the best friends I’ve ever had.” That was so touching to hear from someone I haven’t seen in years. What a gift.

3. Distance your self-talk: Have you ever coached yourself in the 3rd person? The most powerful voice we can hear is a supportive one, which uses our name to tell us what we need to do next. Eliminate the negative- give yourself props and see how your attitude shifts.

4. Mental imagery: Sometimes we need a reframe. Reflecting on a great moment of success you had last week, month or two years ago When you picture the moment, let the feeling flood your body and fill your mind. When oxytocin takes over, calm sets in.

5. Mindfulness/Meditation: Having any type of mindfulness or mediation practice can be very grounding. If you aren’t able to sit in total silence and go inside, start by using an app with some mindfulness music or soothing story telling. Calm and Headspace are two of the biggest ones out there.

   I start every day with 15-30minutes of meditation. I find taking a few deep breathes helps tell my brain it’s time to relax and focus on my breathe and my mantra.

6. Journaling: If you aren’t much of a writer, get a journal and put some bullet points in it daily. Three gratitudes for the day. I GET to eat 3 meals today. I GET to prepare and eat food that nourishes my body. They don’t have to even be big moments to be impactful. Gratitude builds over time and grateful people attract more good energy, positivity and ultimately opportunities.

7. Breathwork: Try triangle or box breathing. It gives our brain something to focus on while allowing the cortisol to drain. Using this first thing in the morning, or before a test or before you step onto stage, all can be very helpful in resetting.

Whatever your “go to” stress response is, what we know is ruminating on it for long isn’t very helpful. Let go of those negative thoughts and find a way to bring something into your focus that is helpful.

I was working with a 15yr old client of mine this week. She went on a negative spin about why something that wasn’t working for her with her coach, then stopped and corrected herself out loud. “That isn’t helpful. I need to stop thinking this way. The positive way to reframe this is…”. I loved that, she coached herself. That is gold.

What I’m reading: Shift Managing your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You. If you’re curious about finding other helpful tools to reset, check it out!

I’m working on something very exciting. I can’t share any details yet— but stay tuned! More to come….

Xxx

Kir