This is a variation on a call I get from a parent almost weekly:
Parent: “My daughter/son is a VERY good (fill in the sport) athlete. I really don’t care if they play in college or beyond, but everyone around us is telling us that he/she is VERY special and I’m not sure how to manage this. Are we supposed to be going to all of these camps? Should we be sending out tape to colleges? This feels very overwhelming. Are we behind schedule? We know other kids who already have interest. I don’t want to mess this up for my kid.”
Me: “How old is your son/daughter?”
Parent: “10 years old.” (age is usually anywhere from 10-15)
Me: “So what feels right to you and your family?”
The parent usually goes on to explain that their spouse (often times the husband) is way more into this than they are. The husband is sure he/she can play in college (X, Y, Z trainer or coach who saw him/her play said so. “I’ve handed him your book and he read a third of it…. help!”
The reality of pay to play youth sports these days is kids are facing pressure to not only compete but to BE THE BEST from a very young age. Yes, even as young as 8, 9, or 10. And what that does is puts undue pressure about RESULTS far too early. Who knows if Jill will like softball 5 years from now when she gets to high school, much less seven or eight years from now when she’s heading into college? Even though he’s the star of his middle school club team, who knows if 14 year old Jimmy will really want to play soccer in college or will continue to develop at the level he’s been tracking at up until this point.
In the 1970’s and 80’s, very rarely was there a child under the age of 15 who was feeling the pressure to think about their future five or ten years out, now it feel very common place and what it’s leading to is anxiety around perfectionism, feeling the pressure to “be the best”. I have 10 year old clients who have told me they are worried about how they’ll pay for college, “I need to get a scholarship.”
Other countries seemed to have figured out what we stumble over every day.
Imagine a society in which 93 percent of children grow up playing organized sports. Where costs are low, the economic barriers to entry few, travel teams aren’t formed until the teenage years — and where adults don’t start sorting the weak from the strong until children have grown into their bodies and interests. Then, the most promising talents become the most competitive athletes in the world, on a per-capita basis.
Exhibit A: Norway
Does Norway have the answer to excess in youth sports?
While I’ve railed on for many moons about the imperfections of our system, the question that always rears its ugly head is how to fix it. Which always leads me back to one thing that has been mentioned on too many of my #RaisingAthletes podcasts to count, and that is having FUN!
Keep it so enjoyable that they are curious, that they want to explore, grow and learn versus worrying about how they do at “Nationals” (whatever that means for 8U-12U divisions).
Two of my most recent guests spent most of their time speaking about fun and they both coach professional athletes. Both Steve Kerr of the Golden State Warriors and Rett Larson, (see below) weave it into their DAILY practices.
Coaches, what are some of the ways you incorporate F-U-N into your practices?
Coaches: Have you tried TAG as a warmup?
Listen to the words above of Olympic Gold Winning Strength and Conditioning Coach Rett Larson (& me🙋♀️) !!! And, honestly, follow Rett on Instagram @rettasaurus as he readies his German National Olympic 🏐team to play in Paris 2024 Olympics in July. Athletes young and old need to have fun and dynamic play.
Check out full video episode with Rett Larson and Steve Kerr on YouTube.
In the beginning, make sure the opportunity to learn includes the Three F’s:
• Friends
• Fun
• Fundamentals
Play shouldn’t be hypercompetitive. In the early years, children just need to learn the fundamentals of the sport, laugh, and make new friends while participating. They need to enjoy the experience.
Some warm-ups to try:
Freeze Tag: Play variations of tag such as freeze tag or tunnel tag where kids have to perform certain movements (like touching their toes or spinning around) to unfreeze teammates or avoid being tagged. It encourages dynamic movement, spacial awareness and it’s fun!
Animal Walks: Have your athletes mimic the movements of various animals like frogs (jumping), bears (crawling), ducks (waddling), etc. This not only warms up their muscles but also adds an element of fun.
Simon Says: Play a game of Simon Says where you incorporate simple exercises like jumping jacks, toe touches, high knees, etc. into the commands. For example, "Simon says, touch your toes!" or "Simon says, do five jumping jacks!"
Obstacle Course: Set up a simple obstacle course using cones, hoops, and other equipment. Include tasks like jumping over hurdles, crawling under ropes, and weaving through cones. This gets their heart rate up while also improving agility and coordination.
Balloon Keep Up: Blow up a few balloons and have the kids keep them in the air using only their hands or feet. This is a great way to improve hand-eye coordination while also warming up the body.
But, as they get older, sometimes they need help to remember the JOY. Incorporating joy into your practice or locker room environment can greatly enhance team morale, cohesion, and overall enjoyment of the sport. Here are some ways to do it:
Celebrate Achievements: Recognize and celebrate both individual and team achievements, no matter how small. This could be anything from academic accomplishments to on-field successes or off-field successes. See your team. Celebrations can be as simple as high-fives, cheers, or small rewards.
Incorporate Games and Challenges: Integrate fun games and challenges into your practice sessions to keep things engaging and enjoyable. This could include relay races, shooting competitions, or skill-based challenges. Make sure these activities are age-appropriate and relevant to the sport.
Play Music: Consider playing upbeat music during warm-ups, drills, or downtime in the locker room. Music has the power to energize and uplift spirits, helping to create a more joyful atmosphere.
Encourage Creativity: Allow players to express their creativity and individuality within the team environment. Whether it's designing team slogans, creating pre-game rituals, or coming up with innovative plays, giving players a sense of ownership can increase their enjoyment of the sport.
Set Fun Goals: While it's important to strive for success, it's also crucial to set fun and achievable goals during a practice. Avoid putting too much pressure on winning at all costs and instead focus on personal growth, improvement, and having fun.
Let’s do this!
XXX Kir
P.S. You’re amazing. We should talk!
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