The Power of Perspective
The Power of Perspective
Reflection as a tool for growth
My phone rang early yesterday. When I picked it up, a familiar voice with a heavy Boston accent came through loud and clear, “Kiii-sten, this is Jah-me Sullivan! Last week I was missing Pah-ka Jones (in full Boston accent, of course) so I called him. Man, he is a great kid. I miss having him around.”
As you can imagine that first sentence had me at hello. What parent doesn’t want to hear someone speak kindly about their kid? When one indulgence wasn’t enough, I pushed a little more. “Say more, Coach. What do you miss?”
Parker, un-recruited out of high school but desperate to play college basketball, decided to follow his older brother, CJ’s, footsteps and take a “gap year”, aka a post-grad (PG) year.
My 17yo Kid Isn't Getting Recruited, Now What?
He ended up choosing Worcester Academy, in Worcester, Massachusetts, for his PG year. Enter Coach Jamie. “He just got what the PG year was supposed to be about. He worked hard. He got better. He was coachable. He was respectful and he had heart. He knew he had areas to improve, and he was willing to do the work.”
It was fun, two years past this experience, to hear this coach’s perspective. As parents, we hope to give our kids opportunities to learn and grow. To develop themselves beyond their sport, but to also have a few headwinds so that when they reach their next stop, they have autonomy over their future and drive to pursue whatever is next.
This week’s podcast is a very special one to me. Just as I did a few months back with my first born, CJ, next week’s podcast is with my middle child, Parker. (Full episode will drop here on 10/7/24!)
I share his birth order because it is so very appropriate to his personality. He was always a kind, silly, playful kid who wanted to be liked. He would rather get the cross in 8U soccer and let his friend score the goal, than always take the shot himself. He’s a giver. I don’t think there’s ever been a night when he didn’t hug me good night. We knew he was destined to be fairly tall. And when he was a toddler, I used to picture Marmaduke, sitting on my lap. “He’s going to be 6’6” one day and still love a good hug from his parents.,” I’d say to my husband. I adore that about him!
On our episode together, Parker discusses three distinct memories where he thought, “This is it. My playing career is over. What am I without basketball?” He reflected back to me after the recording stopped, “Wow, Mom. That was so good to share. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about crying all the way home from the tournament in Orange County by myself in the car alone to anyone else. Look how far I’ve come!”
Yes, indeed. This week is an appropriate one for his episode to be on as it is his 21st birthday. He’s embarking on his sophomore season at Colgate University with Men’s Basketball. Like any athlete, he’s been thrown several “seasons” of highs and lows. From being a late bloomer to not getting as much playing time to being “in his head” for games to wondering if he’d ever make it to the next level.
Last night on a quick phone call to say happy birthday to him we asked how he was feeling about his upcoming school year and season. “I woke up this morning feeling older and wiser. Like 1/364th degree older. At 21, I’m now one of the elder statesmen. And it feels good. I’m ready to take this on and do the best I can.”
We know there will be more ups and downs this season. Maybe even a snot-filled bus ride home or two, but that’s what this entire journey is about. Taking swings, assessing your progress, resetting and moving forward.
I hope you enjoy this episode. Making it was pure joy for me!
Xxx
Kir
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