Why does the F word scare us so much?
Failure, right? That's what you were thinking too.. yeah me too
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Almost every regret (that I can remember) from not getting the playing time when I first made it to the DI level in college; to my first job at NIKE in Vienna, Austria, where I was working for a boss who didn’t seem to value what I was offering; to parenting three kids while working full time; to ten years ago starting off on this entrepreneurial journey without a clue how exactly to build a business on my own, all of these “swings” I took (and thousands more) when I reflect on them, I’m proud of the work and the growth and the relative confidence it took to pursue each and every one of them. AND yet… whatever short comings I’ve had are all pinned to one one simple yet sticky reason, fear of failing.
It is such a universal fear for all of us. We, humans, are the only mammals that come wired with the beautiful gift of reasoning. But that also makes us the only ones that can get stuck in that loop of limiting beliefs, which keeps us from going for the things we really want in life.
This week, I had a great session with a 16-year old basketball client. She’s a strong athlete who articulates well how supported she feels with and by her family. Yet, when we started to discuss the upcoming season, she admitted that she’s driven more by her fears than by her hoop dreams.
I have this conversation almost weekly. First with the parent who feels like they have tried everything to “coax” their child into believing in themselves and then with the athlete who can tell me how much they LOVE what they do, but just can’t quite get past the fear of not being enough.
When we feel powerless, we often times dim our own light. Without being asked, our subconscious goes into overdrive to help protect us from what we are most afraid of- rejection or worse, out right failure. When we swim up through the fear and address it head on, i.e., “name it to tame it”, we can then identify tools for growth, which lead to small wins over time. Competence builds confidence. And the better we are feeling on the inside, the quieter those voices of negativity we all have in our heads become. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? This is the work.
I love this speech by Kara Lawson, the Duke Women’s Basketball coach, Own Your Power about not allowing others to dictate our happiness or our worth. I hear from clients all the time, “the coach doesn’t believe in me, so she doesn’t play me.” That’s a perception that is then validated by giving less effort, which leads to not playing as well, which leads to the coach not giving the athlete positive feedback and we’re stuck in a vortex of negativity.
Failure is often seen as the lack of success in achieving a desired goal or outcome. It's a natural part of life and growth, offering valuable lessons and opportunities for improvement. While it can be discouraging, failure is not permanent unless we choose to let it define us.
The positive side of not getting what we want can serve as a stepping stone towards future success, providing insights into what works and what doesn't. Embracing failure with resilience and a growth mindset can lead to greater personal development and eventual triumph.
I had Dr. Desaree Festa, the Sports Psychologist of the Buffalo Bills on #RaisingAthletes podcast this week and we spoke about failure and how she helps professional athletes overcome it. Yes, even pro athletes suffer from the fear of not being enough…
Check out full podcast here or wherever you find your podcast.
CELEBRATING WINS!!
It’s ALWAYS thrilling to hear from clients who get the success that they are working for. Throughout the club season I work with many of the Sunshine Volleyball Club’s teams on mindset.
Coach Jeff Porter, brought me in several times to work with his 13’s team to help them learn about learning from failures, getting out of their heads and becoming more vocal and supportive teammates.
So I was thrilled to get his text this week and the teams season finished on a high! Growth is what we’re going for- the lessons we learn while digging deep is what this journey is all about. Congratulations! 🌞🌈🏐. Go Sunshine!!
We are excited to announce a new partnership with CorVive Natural Health Supplements. CorVive (pronounced: cor-veev) offers top-notch, natural products designed to boost your health and wellness. From hydration to daily supplements, CorVive has you covered.
All #RaisingAthletes listeners will receive 30% OFF with promo code KIRSTEN (if you pick the one-time purchase option).
We at TEAM KJ have tried it and LOVE it 😁
Did you miss my mindset workshops where taught game changing tools to unlock your superpowers???. 🦸♂️🦸♀️ Sign up here for the course replay and to be added to our Summer Facebook group.
SIGN ME UP!!!
LEARN MORE here: https://www.kirstenjonesinc.com/visualization-workshop
Thank you to everyone who attended the Daily Rituals workshop! There have been so many amazing takeaways each week and we hope everyone is beginning to see the differences in their life.
Sign up here to be on the waiting list for LIVE WORKSHOPS this OCTOBER and to be added to our Summer Facebook accountability group.
Let me help you embark on an exciting journey of personal development and peak performance! I will walk through incredibly powerful tools (Goal Setting, Tribe of 5, Purging, Visualization, Daily Habits, Meditation, Flow State, Journaling) to help YOU achieve YOUR goals and create the life YOU desire.💪🙌
❤️ ❤️❤️
Any questions? Email: matt@kirstenjonesinc.com
Wanna connect? Contact me here! I am booking for Fall 2024 speaking events.
Let’s do this!
Thanks for supporting me on my journey. I’m so grateful you are here. If you find my blogs and podcasts helpful, please share, like and comment. I love learning from you about what’s working, what’s not and how I can help you on your journey.
Enjoy the ride. It is a gift-
Kir